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Out
You Go! part 3 A selection of NUFC.com reader tales about being chucked out of toon matches.... |
Occasion: Home game early 1970's Location: St.James' Park Guilty Party: AC "Sitting on the wall at the back of
the Leazes End (you know, that little space that used to overlook the car
park, head banging against the the roof) trying to see the game. ******************************************************* Occasion: West Ham (h) August 1992 "Unluckily for me, the copper hiding
behind me saw me (along with everyone else in the Leazes) giving Dicks the
'V' for Victory sign. He took a dim view of it and I spent the remainder of
the match outside the ground somewhat bemused as to why my 'V' sign was
offensive and everyone elses' wasn't." Occasion: Barnsley (h) 1993 "This is actually a story about a mate of mine. I had moved down south, but he was still living in the Toon. We had a theory that neither of us would ever having seen the Toon score over five in a game. Then we played Barnsley during the promotion season and knocked in six. I got the expected phone call at about 9:30pm. "I was just about to congratulate him
on breaking the jinx, when he told me that he'd only got three quarters of
the way up the Gallowgate steps. Rather than use the luxurious facilities on
offer at the time, he'd opted to relieve himself beside the stairs, and got
collared and then ejected. ******************************************************* Occasion: Forest (h) 1980's "The incident took place in the Leazes
End (if you can term seven or eight uncovered steps an "end") and
involved a certain inebriated teenager hurling a half-eaten mince pie into
the Forest fans. Hardly comparable to the Molotov Cocktail of Cockneys a few
years earlier, but you wouldn't have thought it the way the Copper
man-handled me out of the ground.
Occasion: Chelsea (a) Nov 1996 "I travelled down to Stamford bridge
to watch the match, but after having several pints I was busting for a wazz.
I asked this copper where the nearest toilet was, bearing in mind I was in
the queue to get in the ground. He told me there was a pub about 2 miles
away! I informed him I would never make that. ******************************************************* ******************************************************* "Sir Les popped up to score following a route one ball early in the second half and ran directly towards the army to celebrate. All of a sudden I find myself hurdling two advertising hoardings (not as easy as you think) to join him, Clarkie, Barton, Lee etc with my hands firmly placed in Ferdinand's afro...tremendous !! "Make my way back to my seat, to be
joined by the local Constabulary, arm up my back and carted off to the cells
in the ground - chocka with black and white shirts. Four
hours later after a sing song in the local cells kicked out to fend for
myself. Occasion: various home games "Being an exuberant youth at the time, I always looked forward, as many people did, to scaling the fence at the Gallowgate scoreboard (not an altogether easy task), to have a bit run around on the pitch after the last home game of the season. "The first instance was when I succeeded in being the very first person to do so....as I dropped from the fence onto the cinder track, I spun around to race onto the hallowed turf only to be confronted by a HUGE copper, beckoning me into his grasp with a leather-gloved finger. "In blind panic, I did a couple of shimmies Beardsley and Roeder would have been proud of, and accelerated past him towards the centre circle. I was sure that when I turned around there he'd be, but my heart leapt for very different reasons when I heard a huge roar of appreciation from the Gallowgate, arms raised in a round of applause. Cue a mass invasion, and safety in numbers! "The second time was when some fool snapped the crossbar at the Gallowgate end. Finding myself on the pitch again, I thought I'd have a bit of the wood as a memento, so ran over to yank a chunk off. It took quite a bit of effort, but all my huffing and puffing was rewarded with a geet big splinter of it. "Still bent over with my arse in the air, I was both congratulating myself and wondering why not many others had joined in my quest, when I glanced over my shoulder and saw the aforementioned copper's bigger mate about to hit me with a rugby tackle so hard it would have put my head through the scoreboard. "I evaded his dive with nanoseconds to spare, and again hoofed it to the centre circle to get lost, safely, in the crowd there. Eeeh, happy days...." ******************************************************* Occasion: West Ham (a) 1981 Location: The Boleyn Ground Guilty Party: KL "West Ham fans singing 'there's
only one way out' which there was in the ******************************************************* Occasion: Southampton (a) Jan 1997 "The memories are a little blurred due to a local hostelry selling off something called Snowman's Revenge at 80p a pint but we were cruising to victory 2-0 up early in the 2nd half, Dalglish's first proper game in charge and I was in the front row of the downstairs section. "A chant of 'Kenny Dalglish Black and White Army' started up and had been going for a couple of minutes when I reeled in the big fluffy Match of the Day microphone from the halfway line by it's wire, and held it up for rows two and three so that Des Lynam and Co. could hear good old Geordie sing-song. "Unfortunately I was spotted by a
jobsworth steward who reported me to the polis and I was promptly banged up
till 5pm in the cells round the back of the ground. ******************************************************* Continued |
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