The Only Fools and Horses Christmas special doesn't look great

Erik ten Hag:

"When you have so many games in a short period you can have less good performances.

"We had a tough first half. We said at half-time, we are pleased to be at 0-0 and have to stay in the game. We had a good comeback in the last part of the game, that's the fight we have to show.

“We have to give credit to Newcastle. They played better than us tonight. We started well, we had a good chance by (Alejandro) Garnacho but then, for a long period, Newcastle had the better performance than us. 

"We went down 1-0 but, to be fair, by the end of the game, we came back and had some good opportunities. (Sergio) Reguilon had a good chance, then the offside goal, so we fought back but we have to do this for the whole game. But, overall, Newcastle deserved to win.

"I think they put out a good team. It’s probably one of the strongest teams they have, but, in the end, they didn’t have the subs we have. We brought some energy in and that had a good effect on the game.

"We stick together, we keep to the plan. This team is resilient. We've seen it after (Manchester) City, we had a bad defeat but then we kept together, stuck to the plan and kept going."

A 55th minute effort from Anthony Gordon deservedly gave Newcastle their sixth successive Premier League home victory on Saturday night, ending an epic week on a high note.

An undiminished sick list saw the same line-up that disposed of Chelsea before being controversially held in Paris stylishly set about the Red Devils from the off, but they had only Gordon's finish from Kieran Trippier's cross to show for their dominance.

One fan labelled it a "1-0 annihilation" afterwards, while others mused over how awful the enforced coach trip over the M62 for the visiting side after their flight was cancelled must have been. Judging by the pedestrian showing of Marcus Rashford he must have walked here....

Trippier had come closest to opening the scoring late in the first half with a free kick from a similar distance to Raheem Sterling's effort for Chelsea in the last home game, but rattled the Gallowgate goal frame with comedic custodian Onana rooted to the spot.

Winning the toss, Erik ten Hag's side chose to attack the Leazes End in the first half but then barely bothered to do so - former Magpies boss Steve McClaren on the away bench perhaps gambling that Newcastle would tire later playing up the slope with a lack of game changers on the bench. 

It's fair to say that plan backfired entirely; at times the approach play from the hosts was a joy to watch against the gutless and uncommitted visitors. It's vital to stress the levels Newcastle found when playing here and credit them for it, rather than just highlighting the opposition's inadequacy.

The faintest sliver of doubt had begun to creep in by time we did go ahead though. Up until that point just three of our 16 shots were on target and for all our delightful work, Onana had been in greater peril from his team mates than the efforts of home players.

The meeting of these two sides were in March 1996 inevitably came to mind; Newcastle turned round by the coin toss as per today and unable to turn possession and threat into goals in the opening 45. 

There was even a blockbuster free kick  in the style of Philippe Albert's that night - although our thoughts were solidly on Yohan Cabaye's successful effort against these lot here at the same end when Trippier was lining up. 

Where Schmeichel was an imperious one man barrier to our ambitions that day though, his 2023 counterpart was nothing of the sort and mostly in the bystander category before conceding.

A straw poll revealed a clutch of worthy man of the match candidates; Bruno benefiting from a more advanced role and both full backs excelling - Trippier revitalised and Livramento superb despite making only his second PL start for us and playing on the "wrong" side.

And in addition to some glimpses of the unplayable Joelinton and logic-defyingly athletic shifts from the two centre halves, an excellent display from Lewis Miley that belied the fact that he'll only turn 18 in the final weeks of this season. Christ knows where they all got the energy from.  

It wasn't all plain sailing however; Newcastle's injury woes continued when goalkeeper Nick Pope was led from the field late on with a shoulder problem after landing awkwardly to block a shot that never actually reached him thanks to Fabian Schar's intervention.

That changed the mood inside the stadium and gave the visitors renewed hope of what would have been an unlikely smash and grab raid, thoughts inevitably turning to the farcical finale in Paris.

Pope's replacement Martin Dubravka was unable to prevent Antony from netting in the final seconds of normal time, but the away side's celebrations were instantly cut short by a raised flag - the substitute's goal bound effort hitting an offside Harry Maguire. 

That was the only real moment of peril in almost 10 minutes of time added on, before the final whistle confirmed a third successive win and clean sheet of 2023 over the Red Devils. After decades of being habitually turned over by this lot in our supporting lives, it's a red letter year never mind a day.... 

The Wor Flags banner unfurled referenced Eddie Howe's dressing room comment ahead of April's home win over this lot as relayed on the Amazon documentary - minus his profanity.

If the dividend from our cup final defeat at their hands in February was to motivate the manager and players to the levels shown again here when facing these lot, it was a price worth paying. 

Ending the day in fifth, Newcastle then dropped down to sixth on Sunday as a result of the point collected by Spurs from their 3-3 draw at Manchester City. 

Biffa