10 mins Karl Darlow turned away a Tammy Abraham header at the cost of a corner kick at the South West section of the ground. A short flag kick routine ended with Mason Mount running towards the byline and crossing into the six yard area where Fernandez diverted it into his own goal at the far post.

The defending was desperately poor but Ben Chilwell kicked the back of Federico Fernandez's leg which would have been given as a foul anywhere else on the pitch - notwithstanding the fact that the Newcastle player had made contact with the ball a fraction of a second before that impact. 

For some reason the irrelevance of whether or not Fernandez touched the ball first seemed to be enough for the officials and pundits to declare the goal was fine and after a brief VAR check it was allowed to stand.  0-1

Half time: Magpies 0 Blues 1

65 mins Not for the first time, United managed to turn attack into defence almost instantly but when Timo Werner picked up the ball inside his own half he had two defenders directly in front of him.

The ease with which the German international skipped between Fernandez and Sean Longstaff was alarming and by the time he reached our box, a simple pass to Tammy Abraham left the striker a straightforward low finish past Darlow and in off the Leazes End post. 0-2

Full time: Magpies 0 Blues 2

Frank Lampard said: 

"The result is key in these games. The Premier League is tough, relentless, and we dealt with the challenge of the game very well.

I won't get excited about being top of the table for five minutes. It's important to be humble and know it's a long race.

"It’s always smoother on the bench for me and the staff when you do wrap it up early, but it can happen. We played well, it’s not an easy game for us coming here against a very organised team.

"It was great to get the early goal, that changes the aspect of it, but the second one was then so important and we obviously had chances to get that earlier. Even after that we could maybe score again, but we can’t have it all our own way.

"There are days where you aren’t quite at it in front of goal, then we put the game away very well I thought in our professional performance.

"It's important for us as a group if we want to get where we want to be that you have to work on those moments when you do go ahead that you don’t get complacent.

"Penetration was the big thing for me. We were having control but people were still happy to run in. It’s very easy to think, 'I’ll come short to the ball' or 'I’ll play the safe pass.'

"We had to keep making those more dangerous passes and the runs and the effort to get in there, and I think to a degree we did.

"It’s not an easy game, I can understand the players can sometimes become comfortable. It’s little lessons where we can get better.

"They came out more positive in the second half and I always felt the real danger moments for us could be on transition and counter-attack, because Timo showed that two or three times in the first half and then obviously he shows that for Tammy’s goal.

‘We played well in patches and the result is key in these games because the Premier League is tough. It’s relentless and after the break where we were playing well and everyone goes in their own directions and comes back.

"I thought the lads dealt with the challenge of the game very well today, so I’m very pleased."
 

That meant the impending substitution of Miguel Almiron for Javier Manquillo was immaterial, as was the arrival of Andy Carroll replacing Saint-Maximin.

Longstaff was unlucky to see a fabulous effort from a short corner strike the Gallowgate crossbar in the 72nd minute and Almiron had a deflected shot saved, either side of Werner's rightly-disallowed goal for straying offside.

Carroll went clear in added time and his deflected shot hit the side-netting but that would have been little more than a consolation with the destination of the points never really in any doubt.

Victory for the Blues put them top of the table for a few hours until Spurs replaced them, while Newcastle would end the weekend in fifteenth - their lowest position since last November.

Bruce's post-match lament about playing a run of games against top sides doesn't bear close inspection when considering where a substantial slab of our points have come from under his command - against those very sides, including Frank Lampard's lot.

Despite the lack of entertainment or excitement they routinely generate, a margin of patience and tolerance can be afforded to his team though, if they can indeed now take the fight to supposedly lesser opposition.

A quintet of games when we might reasonably be expected not to line up in two banks of five players now appear on the schedule before the League Cup tie at Brentford.

By Christmas therefore, we should have a better idea of how much of a struggle this season is going to be. Should we have failed to take points off our supposed counterparts then we're in the clarts, with the cupboard apparently bare in January for anything other than loan arrivals.

The manager's continual sniping at supporter unrest online meanwhile betrays a lack of intelligence and awareness. He may reach for his book of Geordie cliches to wax lyrical about getting the crowds back, but he'd now be getting dogs' abuse from a rapidly emptying SJP had the pandemic never happened. Exactly 12 months ago, meetings at that stadium were mapping out a strategy to give away 10,000 season tickets that were unsellable.

If Bruce did one thing right today, it was in leaving Callum Wilson out - holding him back for more training and the start of a run of games when his presence could be absolutely pivotal. Better that than seeing him vastly outnumbered and run himself into the ground as happened at St. Mary's.

57 games and 16 months in, this is a work in progress as we're constantly reminded, but on days like this the only question seems to be whether we're building a folly or a ruin. Neither are pretty to look at.

Whether it's the enforced absence of crowds or repeated 90 minute doses of this unpalatable dross, Bruce's side are providing the most persuasive possible argument for the club takeover by the Saudis going through. 

Unpalatable to some, that increasingly looks like being the only antidote to cure this malaise.

Niall/Biffa