25 secs Virgil van Dijk bundled over Allan Saint-Maximin on the halfway line and after SJP old boy Gini Wijnaldum helpfully tossed Shelvey the ball, he promptly sent the free kick towards the Leazes End.

Dwight Gayle got between Joe Gomez and Neco Williams, before forcing his shot past goalkeeper Allison. Sadly though BT were showing a rerun of the initial foul and cut back to live pictures of the ball in the net.

Doubts over whether the scorer had timed his run to remain onside were dispelled when VAR eventually ruled in his favour. 1-0

38 mins Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain pushed down the Reds right and Virgil van Dijk rose highest to loop his header home at the Gallowgate End. 1-1

Half time: Magpies 1 Reds 1

59 mins Van Dijk played a forward ball to Andy Robertson, who laid it off for Divock Origi on the left hand side of the United box. The Belgian forward moved the ball infield to his right before unleashing a curling effort that Federico Fernandez ducked under and Martin Dubravka couldn't reach. 1-2

89 mins Sadio Mane replicated Origi's effort from almost the same point, Valentino Lazaro showing him inside and giving him the opportunity to hammer the ball beyond Dubravka. 1-3

Full time: Magpies 1 Reds 3

One of these just got 99 points, the other just wants a 99....

Steve Bruce said:

"He'll remember that one. He's been training with us for the last six weeks so it was good to see him get his chance."

"We played an incredible game, not a perfect game.

"We made so many changes after a long time of playing with similar line-ups. It's not fair to judge (players who came in) because they need to get used to each other's games.

"We really worked in the game and got better and better and better even before the changes. But the changes helped massively.

"I liked the game. It's far away from being perfect but over the season we did not just win games when everything was perfect, we won a lot of difficult games too.

"Two weeks and a couple of days and we start again. I'm not going to the office for a while."

Newcastle concluded their season on Sunday with a not-unexpected home loss to the side that lifted the Premier League trophy in midweek, despite the Champions giving them a goal start.

United may have scored first, but as was the case at Anfield last September were powerless to act when the Reds began to apply the merest pressure. 

Clad in their new shirts, the black and whites caught both Liverpool and BT Sport unaware by taking the lead just 25 seconds after the first whistle.

Virgil van Dijk bundled over Allan Saint-Maximin on the halfway line and after SJP old boy Gini Wijnaldum helpfully tossed Shelvey the ball, he promptly sent the free kick towards the Leazes End.

Dwight Gayle got between Joe Gomez and Neco Williams, before forcing his shot past goalkeeper Allison. Sadly though BT were showing a rerun of the initial foul and cut back to live pictures of the ball in the net.

Doubts over whether the scorer had timed his run to remain onside were dispelled when VAR belatedly ruled in his favour.

From that point on though, the rest of the afternoon is barely worthy of mention from a Magpies perspective; our habitual casualness in possession allied to a complete lack of any forward threat.

The first hint of a response from the visitors came just before the half hour, when Takumi Minamino tested Martin Dubravka from distance.

However the Magpies goalkeeper was picking the ball out of his net on 38 minutes, after Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain pushed down the right and van Dijk rose highest to loop his header home.

Jurgen Klopp responded to our defensive injury problems by benching his first-choice front three - but by the time that Roberto Firmino, Sadio Mane and Mo Salah appeared just after the hour, the outcome was already beyond any doubt.

The departing Divock Origi had put his side ahead seconds earlier as he had here last season, and from that point it was just a question of how many more that the visitors would bother to score.

Salah almost immediately struck a post and was then denied by a fine Federico Fernandez interception, but it was Mane who opened up a two goal advantage, his shot beating Dubravka in similar style to Origi's effort.

Joelinton appeared from the bench, but his major contribution to proceedings was having dyed his hair red - quite appropriate for a player and a club that look completely marooned at present.

Speaking after the game, Steve Bruce confirmed that Mike Ashley had spoken to him and the squad via a Zoom link from the USA - but that the conversation was related only to onfield matters and that no update on the takeover was forthcoming.

Crystal Palace's 1-1 draw with Spurs left Newcastle in thirteenth spot for the second successive season. 44 points is one less than they managed in 2018/19 and equal to their 2017/18 tally - hardly a great reward for all that money spent last summer.

Elsewhere, Aston Villa scraped a point at West Ham to stay up, condemning Bournemouth and Watford to the Championship with Norwich City.

What else to say? Well apart from being a blessed relief that this season has finally ended over a year after it started, there's not much new to record.

As he cuddled his opposite number at full time, Steve Bruce and his players may have reflected that the lockdown has actually done him some good - at least in terms of deflecting criticism from him from their own followers. No matter how much you shout at the telly, they really cannot hear you...

The hallmark of this season has been our lack of endeavour and this was again evident today; 1-0 ahead and dropping ever deeper, but with no change in approach at 1-1 or 1-2.

This result was essentially meaningless, but too much of today's non-event has been mirrored through the campaign for comfort. It's difficult to see what progress has been made collectively in 12 months.

They may not have been able to witness this first-hand, but the frustration of the Geordie nation is evident in every text, email and socially-distanced exchange.

This has been a season every bit as uninspiring and unwatchable as feared: the only mild surprise being that seven sides collected less points than ourselves - proof of the utter mundanity of this league.

Graeme Souness spoke recently in praise of Bruce, claiming that his team had got Toon fans on the edge of their seats this season. That may well be true, but certainly not in the way he meant....

What the owner and manager have perpetrated, COVID has exacerbated. The sense of nothingness and indifference feels both overwhelming and perpetual.

Bruce has exceeded our own personal expectations, but only because they were so ludicrously low when he took the job.

There may well be three worse teams than us by next May, but that's no consolation to anyone contemplating another season of this joyless excuse for a football club.

This club desperately needs a project restart of its own - the alternative is too unpalatable to contemplate.

PS: As has become customary at this point, we express our gratitude to everyone who plays a part in ensuring the survival of this website. We also pause to remember those readers who sadly passed away this season.

Biffa