10 mins Paul Dummett's tackle down the United left put Georginio Wijnaldum in possession. The ball moved forward via Vurnon Anita and Ayoze Perez to Daryl Janmaat down the right. He ran inside and dinked over a lovely cross for Papiss Cisse to head home via an upright at the Holmsdale End. 

The number nine looked offside and even looked across for a flag before celebrating, but for once he'd timed his run perfectly and TV footage showed the linesman had made a fine decision. 1-0

14 mins Chancel Mbemba's poor header back into the home half was launched up to ex-mackem Connor Wickham. He held off Fabrico Coloccini's weak challenge before squaring the ball to James McArthur, whose shot took a sizeable deflection off Dummett and wrong-footed Elliot. 1-1

17 mins Jack Colback got himself into bother in the centre circle allowing Palace to break at speed. Wickham's weak cross from the right beat Coloccini, Anita and Janmaat before reaching Yannick Bolasie, who lashed the ball past Elliot. Schoolboy defending would be harsh on schoolboys. 1-2

41 mins This time it was Anita who surrendered possession and Wickham trotted down the left with far too much time and space to pick out Wilfried Zaha in acres of space. His shot was hit into the ground and it bounced over Dummett, Elliot and Coloccini into the net 1-3

Half time: Eagles 3 Magpies 1

47 mins Half time substitute Jamaal Lascelles conceded a free-kick when climbing over the top of Wickham. Former Magpie Yohan Cabaye floated the dead-ball to the back post, where Damien Delaney beat a static Janmaat and nodded the ball down for Bolasie to fire past Elliot. Lascelles seemed more intent on blocking the player rather than clearing the ball, which didn't work.... 1-4

90+3 mins Mbemba lost the ball in the Palace half allowing Bolasie to break down the left and his cross was only half-cleared by Lascelles straight to McArthur, who hit a hard and low shot past Elliot from a narrow angle.  1-5

Full time: Eagles 5 Magpies 1

"While everyone else around you is losing their heads you’ve got to keep yours. You’ve got to keep calm, perspective. I think that’s the key thing – there’s no panic. 

"If there were six or seven, eight games to go, down there, then people would be, but we’re not panicking and I think that’s where experience tells.”

Steve McClaren first 14 PL games record:

Boro: 16 points (W4 D4, L6, goals F16, A20) 
Newcastle: 10 points (W2, D4, L8, goals F14, A30)

 

Alan Pardew commented:

 
"(All our players) were really on it today. It was a pivotal game in our season, whoever the opposition was. Were we going to become a mid-table side or put ourselves back in contention? Because the top eight sides are really good sides. We've put ourselves amongst the Everton's and the Tottenham's and that's where we want to be.

"Look at Palace down the years when they play very well, this is the sort of team we have. With the energy and the quality of Cabaye in there, it makes us dangerous. Everyone is talking about how good Spurs have been and everyone. And we're right in there.

"The boys have a Christmas party so I hope they enjoy that and behave themselves and it will be a good weekend.

"Our crossing was fantastic as was some of the play up the top of the pitch. Connor Wickham showed all the kind of potential we thought he had as a number 9. Three or four assists - I thought he deserved man of the match, even though Mcarthur and Bolasie ran him close.

"It was a really great performance from us, we're sixth so it's not just about today, but about all season. It was our reaction on the training ground that got us the result today.

"There's no extra satisfaction (in beating Newcastle). It's difficult to talk about the opposition, I love the staff and players who are there, and the fans. Whatever I say about that club it gets contrived. All I would say is I hope their fortunes improve going forward.

"I think it's important that the group stays strong. Sometimes (when I was Newcastle manager) I felt in the position where you need everybody to pull for you and that's where they are now.

"Steve (McClaren) understands that as a manager. All the staff and players now have to really stick tight, get the barriers up and get themselves a win. I hope they do that next week.

"It looks like they're going to have to really fight for the rest of the season, but with the crowd and the way it is there they can reverse things." 

If losing to a side managed by Pardew is annoying though, enduring his patronising comments after full time is the ultimate indignity. An oil slick of insincerity inevitably oozed out: no animosity, wish them well, remember them in happier times - as if we were an ex-partner.

Speaking of marriage, a steadily increasing number of our followers look to be citing irreconcilable differences and limiting their attendance, if not boycotting completely. Today's away support came from across a large age range but a groundswell of toon teens were much in evidence: heartening on one level that the tradition is carrying on, but symptomatic also of mass mid-life desertions. 

Regardless of our own feelings that he's going through the motions in the manner akin to that of Harry Redknapp's final season at QPR, our malaise is bigger than the manager - with many of the same dressing room shirkers that betrayed Pardew and Carver proving still re-offending.    

Changing horses at this point would risk repeating our revolving door desperation of 2008/09  - not because we have particular faith in McClaren's managerial powers, but more for the sure and certain knowledge that no manager with any level of credibility - or alternative employment opportunity - would be desperate enough to try and solve Mike Ashley's ongoing cart/horse conundrum.

With the prospect of no more input into January transfer activity than last summer (when all the player deals were in progress before he put pen to paper) and warning shots across his bows for daring to brief journalists, it's easy to see just how compromised McClaren actually is - and consequently as doomed to failure as the next man.

Does he start with a blank team sheet when preparing for games, or are Colo and Moussa's names are pre-printed on the instructions of his superiors - along with a footnote about not to be considered for substitution under normal circumstances? 

And as for his assertion that he wouldn't be walking away - obviously not, when there's a lucrative compensation package for getting the boot. Whether the blame game bypasses him and finally sees those responsible for selecting and signing this motley crew held to account remains to be seen. 

Where else could a team drop into the bottom three of the league with two of their major signings absent - not injured, but on the bench, deemed too much of a risk to actually start or introduce?

To that we'd add in Pardew's alleged attempt to buy Colo in the summer and the curly-haired one receiving a new contract soon after - turning down the bid as barmy as extending the United career of a player whose physical powers fade by the week and who patently doesn't fancy it. 

Taking any vestige of personality or backbone out of the squad - creating a dressing room stocked with dummies - also jostles for position in the stupidity stakes with a fixation on getting value by refusing signing a player with any experience of the league we currently play in.

At some point when the penny drops that the consequence of this flawed policy is to be excluded from the next financial bonanza, someone will pay the price, albeit in a well-compensated fashion.

The lesson of this regime though is that such a sacrifice will be no more than a blood-letting exercise and the inexorable decline of this club will continue, amid increasing indifference. 

When your players don't give a toss, the temptation is to follow their lead.

Biffa