Alan Pardew said:

"I'm pretty confident I'll be the manager here (next season). I love being the manager and I will be speaking to Mike (Ashley) and Derek (Llambias) this week to make sure we get a response and the right reaction.

"Of course. You hear managers taking about needing three players to make the perfect side – Arsene would probably say the same – but we genuinely, genuinely need a couple in that first team that complement the others.

"It was a shame we didn’t have a bit more punch from the bench in terms of a Shola* or a Sissoko, but that’s the story of our season. We’ve had players missing in every game."

*Shola Ameobi appeared as a substitute in 20 Premier League games, scoring.....once (QPR home).

"I spoke to him and he definitely wants to play one more year or two more years. I think that he should. He definitely has the ability to do that and he can show that on Sunday, but for us it will be his last game.” 
 

What a difference a year makes.

Final day victories for Arsenal and Spurs meant that the result of our season closer at Everton in May 2012 became immaterial, with the unlikely prospect of Champions League qualification vanishing to be replaced by the consolation prize of Europa League involvement; aka the poisoned chalice.

Fast forward twelve months and the two North London rivals were once again engaged in their own private tussle, but our position today was strictly in a supporting role, grateful only that neither the scoreline here or anywhere else mattered to our immediate future. 

Free from the spectre of relegation, Alan Pardew pledged that his side would put on a show, but they were quite literally also-rans, failing to net for the third successive home game and seldom looked like doing so. Statistically this is the poorest season in living memory not to end in demotion and relying on the efforts of others to steer us away from the unthinkable is a sad state of affairs. 

In years to come we'll deny shouting encouragement at the telly for Spurs and Swansea, while David Moyes deserves thanks for his fine achievement in steering Everton to a 0-3 home defeat by Wigan in the FA Cup - removing the only credible challengers Whelan's mob met en route to winning the trophy that relegated them (Bournemouth, Macclesfield, Huddersfield & Millwall were the others).

The Newcastle manager was indebted to the departing Steve Harper for ensuring that roughly half of the crowd remained in their places after full time to give the long-serving 'keeper a fitting send-off, sparing some support for his colleagues. 

Captain for the day at the suggestion of armband owner Fabricio Coloccini, Harper made a couple of useful stops during the afternoon and looked visibly moved when a break in play coincided with the clock ticking round to his 37 shirt number.  

The first half saw United open brightly and Papiss Cisse fire narrowly over, but Arsene Wenger's half time team talk - and news that the mackems were holding Spurs - saw a slight raising of the tempo and pretty soon, the only goal of the game. 

A scrappy effort with a good shout for offside was enough to ensure a nineteenth league defeat of the season in our thirty eighth outing, as we once again failed to carve out a chance worthy of the name in a half-hearted pursuit of an equaliser. And had the ball somehow ended up in the Arsenal net, they'd doubtless have raised their game a fraction to regain the lead.

To see a trio of Newcastle players saunter off when substitutions were made underlined the fact that the result of this game was of no consequence to the black and whites whatsoever - while many of the shortcomings evident during this season were once again to the fore.  

Take your pick: be it our laughable attempts at taking corners, recurring indiscipline when coming under attack and flocking to the ball rather than marking targets, or the aching slowness of our attacking moves. 

Our shortcomings at dead ball situations are the subject of much debate, but regardless of whether they are sent over short or long, back post or front, the basic problem of the players standing in a different postcode to that where the ball lands is a fairly fundamental one....
 
But it's not just corners: free kicks not aimed at goal are hardly inspirational. Those toon fans who still insist on roaring their approval and encouragement when we get one may reflect that while we've failed to score via that method this season, we're the only side whose goalkeeper managed to be credited with an assist - not once, but twice.

Papiss Cisse was the recipient on both occasions, latching on to upfield punts from Tim Krul (Everton at home) and Rob Elliot (Southampton at home), which means in effect that crowd hollering should accompany the return of the ball to our custodian - and our corners should be taken in silence! 

NB: The official OPTA stats for this season record that we have in fact scored from a corner this season. In their world, Vurnon Anita's flag kick at home to Manchester City was an assist, being
cleared by a City player to Coloccini, whose return ball was then headed home by Demba Ba. In reality, the last goal was Ba's - from Yohan Cabaye's corner on October 1st 2011 at Wolves.

The set piece situation lies at the heart of our current problems, of being a team who look to be composed of one type of player, but looking to play an entirely different style of football.

Other clubs who habitually play the long ball usually do so in compensation for a lack of footballing talent. That leads to a reliance on the dark arts of dogged defending, playing percentages and looking to profit from any dead ball situation, including long throws. In recent months we've been almost criminally negligent at most of these things, especially when Coloccini was missing.

The search for a set of circumstances suitable for Anita to be utilised continues, while the attempt to get more out of Cheick Tiote in playing terms has been counter-productive. Quite where both Moussa Sissoko and Yoan Gouffran should play remains a mystery to us - and perhaps Pardew. 

Mediocre, listless and unconvincing, yet again. If the manager truly believes that only minor tweaks are required to fashion this side into something worth watching, then he's in need of urgent psychiatric help. Or perhaps some decent coaching staff to help him out.

Following the full time whistle and Arsenal's celebrations, Harper and his bairns led the side back out, with Pardew and his staff joining the throng before retreating to what was no more than sparse applause. The players (minus Harper) then made a circuit of  the pitch, with Fabricio Coloccini acknowledging the "love of my life" chants of the Gallowgate End but noticeably blending in with his colleagues - hardly the actions of someone leaving. 

Mike Williamson and Shola Ameobi by contrast were the last to take their leave after posing for photos with their offspring - whether they will prove to be farewell souvenirs remains to be seen. 

One absentee was Ryan Taylor - away in the USA for knee surgery at the Steadman clinic - but the long-forgotten Haris Vuckic was sighted. The sheer quantity of offspring on show was commented upon meanwhile; maybe it's not just the Europa League that sapped our strength this season.

Salvation may lie in the fact that the fourteen Europa League games played this season won't be a burden next time round, but the domestic cup success of both Swansea and Wigan this season was a timely reminder that the stranglehold of "big clubs" on silverware isn't always inevitable.  

A full-blooded assault on both domestic cup competitions is a pre-requisite, as Champions League qualification looks unlikely and the Europa League causes more problems than it solves, although this widely-held belief ignores the squad rotation successfully pursued the bulk of our ties.

Elsewhere, Kevin Nolan's hat trick for Sam Allardyce's West Ham helped them to a tenth place finish, while a 3-2 victory at Manchester City helped Chris Hughton's Norwich City into eleventh, three points ahead of us. But we're better than that now. Apparently.

Although his unfortunate "safe now" quote after beating Stoke ultimately failed to bite him on the backside, it remains to be seen whether Pardew's confidence that he'll remain in post is justified.

Unsurprisingly, the should he stay or go topic has been the subject of most correspondence and conversations since the Benfica defeat and our line remains the same as it was during the time that Ardiles, Roeder, Allardyce, Hughton etc. were here - show him the door if you can improve on what you have (exactly the same attitude that we have about players by the way).

And therein lies the problem. Unless there's a change in attitude and strategy then Pardew's replacement would come from exactly the same average level of management:

Not in current employment (TV studio excepted) or not requiring payment of compensation.
Willing to work within a rigid structure, where player sales and purchases are decided elsewhere.
Willing to work for a basic salary towards the lower end of what top-flight clubs pay. 
Willing to accept a limited transfer budget and guidance on how to spend it.
Not in demand by other clubs - ie glad to have the job. 

Take those criteria on board and the ongoing talk of Rafa Benitez is laughable. Not impossible, but only achievable by dumping the current organisation - or attempting to convey that impression.

Given the trials and tribulations of this season, there has to be a certain sympathy for the manager in what he's been expected to deal with - even if his response to circumstances hasn't always found favour and his inability to keep quiet at certain times has grated. If he does go, then publicly urging the owner to share the blame for our underachievement won't have helped his cause

But while he's right about missing big players at crucial times due to misfortune and misadventure, other situations remain unresolved, principally the long-term unavailability of Hatem Ben Arfa, the mismanagement of his fitness and the misleading public statements about it. That HBA returned from France looking like the Michelin Man is also a worry, although that looks more attributable to power shakes than visits to the patisserie.

So, glad it's all over and glad it's not worse. As is customary, we must express our gratitude to the movers and shakers, pourers and steerers, readers, advertisers and those who do proper jobs. We know what we are: unbelievably lucky. 

It also seems appropriate to register an appreciation of the departing custodian, whose arrival at United in 1993 coincided with the founding of this particular cyber-chunk of the world wide web.  

For him and us, twenty years at Gallowgate have flown by at some points - and seemed like several lifetimes at others. The reception he received today was both a shared expression of loyalty and a mutual respect. One of us, for better or worse, and thus open to simultaneous praise and criticism for showing stoicism and loyalty in the club. His/our greatest strength or weakness? You choose.

Having suffered the pain of relegation in 2009, for Harper to have had another demotion on his CV without the opportunity to rectify matters the following season would have been an unjustly cruel end to his time here. On that basis, the fact that this game was a dead rubber was a massive plus. 

Like Alan Shearer though, he leaves with nowt of note in his trophy cabinet and has to content himself with less tangible rewards in the form of his memories. Plus a few quid in the bank...  

Steve can now return to being a fan like the rest of us, demanding effort and application from his successors to achieve respectability and maintain the dream of winning a trophy. One day, eh? 

Biffa