Main Page

Quick Links
    Fixtures
   Reports
   Players
   Transfers
   Rumours
   Table
   Stats
   Reserves
   Academy

The Rest
    Archives
   Club info
   Fanzines
   Last Season
   SJP
   Unlikely Lads
   A-Z Index

"Jose Enrique - We're in the top six!"

That was the song that rang around a triumphant St. James' Park on Sunday, as miserable 'King' Kenny did more to entertain the Geordie faithful than during his whole managerial career on Tyneside, thanks to his April fools.

It was an afternoon when absolutely everything went wrong for Dalglish and his staff packed full of ex-Magpies and chief clowns were Andy Carroll, who had an awful afternoon and Jose Enrique who ended up in goal!

Reds 'keeper Pepe Reina was dismissed for a senseless head-butt on James Perch, meaning our former defender Enrique had to go in goal but it was Carroll storming off down the tunnel after giving Kenny and former Newcastle coach, Steve Clarke, a mouthful of abuse that caused most hilarity. 

The suspicion remains that like Villa boss John Gregory when he hauled David Ginola off here back in 2001, the visiting manager was intent on making the former Magpie walk the plank as punishment for his performance.

It's amazing that Dalglish as manager seems to be doing so much to dismantle everything he and others created as players at Anfield. His signings (not just Carroll) have been enormously over-priced and hugely over-rated and are, at the moment, massively under-performing. Like Graeme Souness, his reputation as player is being destroyed as manager and both managed to do that spectacularly here.

But it's Dalglish's appalling dealings with the press that are doing more than anything to rapidly turn Liverpool into one of the most hated clubs in the Premier League. The Suarez saga was handled dreadfully and even the most perfectly reasonable questions are treated with utter disdain and a level of obtuseness that just makes him look petty and childish.

Ironically, within a year of taking over from Roy Hodgson he has won silverware but in limping past Championship opposition via penalties to claim the Carling Cup, even managed to turn that into something regarded as a failure - had he done that at Newcastle he would still be revered....

All of this made today's events even more delicious and walking away from the ground, most black and whiters were beaming from ear to ear - if not still chuckling - at witnessing something they could barely have scripted any better - vengeance, villains and victories all inside 90 minutes of high drama and farce.

Amid the pantomime performance from the visitors came two more goals for Papiss Cisse and another pair of assists from a player rapidly becoming our match-winner in Hatem Ben Arfa. The duo combined in either half to secure the three points that took us back level with Chelsea and put us out of sight of the Scousers (that's Everton and Liverpool).

Without captain, Fabricio Coloccini (who also missed last season's win over the Reds), our defence was superb with Mike Williamson standing up to the aerial bombardment and James "Perchinho" Perch once again outstanding, blocking everything that the Reds threw at us.

Williamson also came closing to breaking his scoring duck early in the second half when his header hit the foot of Reina's upright, but was cleared away to safety. 

We also had the same goal frame to thank in the first half for keeping out a deflected cross that Tim Krul did well to tip onto the bar and the post initially appeared to keep out a Carroll effort, although Danny Simpson's arm may have been responsible for keeping our former forward out.

Extensive TV replays also captured Williamson grappling with Carroll in the area as a cross came over, but referee Martin Atkinson failed to emulate his colleague Mike Dean in the derby match and chose not to blow - Atkinson also somehow managing not to penalise Suarez for his endless moaning, attempts to claim that he'd been elbowed and bouts of sarcastic applause directed at the officials.  

Carroll was booked early in the game for a disgraceful attempt to win a penalty and get Krul sent off, when it looked inevitable that he would opening the scoring. Thankfully though, his dive was as poor as the rest of his play and he was rightly cautioned.

And after Cisse had made the Liverpool defence look like idiots to double the lead, Kenny delighted the home crowd by withdrawing Craig Bellamy and Carroll who stomped off down the tunnel, removing his shirt halfway down.

Better was to follow with Reina over-reacting to a kick by Perch as the 'keeper shaped to clear upfield. Atkinson went straight to his back pocket but hesitated before showing Perch a yellow and red-carding Reina.

With Liverpool already using their full substitute quota, the irate 'keeper had to return to the field (having left amid great hilarity as he appeared to invite Perch to settle the matter on Barrack Road) and peel off his shirt for Jose Enrique to don as he went between the posts.

Ironically, the 'keeper will miss the FA Cup semi-final against Everton which we need Liverpool to win to prevent the Toffees claiming a Europa place.

But with 53 points already on the board, who's to say that we'll need that extra place with Chelsea in our sights for the fifth spot that would qualify outright?

Perhaps struggling to contain their merriment, Newcastle failed to test their old boy's prowess wearing the gloves, but saw out the closing minutes in possession - save for one indiscreet late challenge by Perch in added time that could conceivably have resulted in a second booking.

There were some nuggets of comedy gold throughout the game; the Strawberry Corner taking the opportunity to barrack Luis Suarez for his recent racial controversies as the Uruguayan collected the ball during a break in play. 

Another priceless moment followed from the same section, as a further Carroll failure saw him serenaded by taunts of "you should have stayed at a big club". The closing stages meanwhile saw visiting fans streaming out of Level 7 as their messiah endured "sacked in the morning" calls.    

Topping them all though, were the "in the top six" chants that rang out reminding Enrique of his Twitter quotes. Days like these don't come along very often - and are to be savoured. 

Jose Enrique Twitter quote, July 25th 2011:

"The club is allowing all the major players of the team to go. Seriously, do you think it is the fault of the players? This club will never again fight to be among the top 6 again with this policy.'

Premier League table, April 1st 2012:

Niall MacKenzie


This report is respectfully dedicated to the late Denis Ingoe.