Having prompted debate and calls from "expert" pundits to give him an extended contract after some eye-catching results, Chris Hughton's players now seem to be doing their level best to make his employment prospects uncertain - and free themselves up for pantomime engagements.

Since the highpoint of the Arsenal victory, United have been on the back foot and looking distinctly uneasy against a trio of sides in Blackburn, Bolton and Fulham who unsettled them in similar fashion two seasons ago - with ultimately disastrous consequences. 

The diminishing size of the United squad is undoubtedly a factor; exacerbated today by the enforced absence of Joey Barton and Cheick Tiote through suspension.  Their replacements Danny Guthrie and Alan Smith managed to give our defence here a flimsy look, drastically reduced any creativity or pace in midfield and rendered the right flank a virtual no-go area. 

Even before today, the self-inflicted absence of Barton, Tiote's early misadventure against Blackburn and Mike Williamson's woeful non-challenge on Roberts had all helped to bury positive thoughts. But in what a times seemed to be an almost wilful display of brainlessness here, player after player took turns at supplying "how not to" cameos. Who knows what go into them; does their pre-game music now include heavy metal records with subliminal messages of self-destruction?

It all started as early as the 18th minute when Kevin Nolan chose the wrong place to practise his "funky chicken" moves and was correctly penalised for a handball in the box - although the slack work of Enrique and Coloccini hardly helped him (we'll put the captain's foray to the byline and wild shot in the first minute down to over-eagerness, but had he pulled it back to Carroll then we could have perhaps scored our quickest league goal in over six years).* 

Barely two minutes later and Williamson had abruptly stopped Johan Elmander's forward run - something that whistler Howard Webb either missed or chose to ignore, but which those nice TV people were only to happy to re-run ad infinitum until the FA rang up for a copy of the VHS.

Next up was Shola, whose arm made sufficient contact with Gary Cahill for one local reporter to warrant it a red card offence, but which wasn't deemed worthy of action by Webb or Gary Lineker's kangaroo court (we still await sanction for the punch thrown at Colo by some Blackburn thug...) 

A second goal then followed after some Simpson dithering, the same player later shoving Kevin Davies in the back while he stood next to the referee - almost comically brainless. And any hopes of a comeback were dashed by more shoddy defending that allowed Bolton a third goal, before a belated response saw Carroll net and he and Nolan then both fail to connect with a Gutierrez cross. 

With the United fans finally finding their voices. Hughton readied Lovenkrands and Routledge to come - only for the Trotters to register a fourth to bisect the twin substitutions. Before they'd dirtied their boots, Fabricio Coloccini's nightmarish afternoon then came to an early conclusion on 75 minutes when he was sent off after stupidly elbowing Elmander in the face - Webb conferring with the linesman (who had a perfect view) before brandishing his red card. 

With Sol Campbell on, United looked to keep the score down and even came close to scoring a second goal of their own - Lovenkrands shooting against the 'keeper when having clear sight of goal and Williamson hoofing over when a corner fell to him beyond the back post.

In added time though, United's misery was completed by a second penalty - although less clear-cut than the first one - sending further travelling fans towards the exits (although some looked not to have returned for the second half, begging the question why they bothered coming at all....)

In fairness, their heroes leaving here empty-handed had always seemed likely despite our comparative good fortune on the road recently. Although victory would have given us a third successive away win, there seemed to be a general feeling that taking a point would be the best that could be hoped for here - and even that could hinge on the post-England fitness of Carroll. 

His willingness to work was a rare positive for a Magpies side lacking any discernible shape and whose passing verged on the atrocious at times. He supplied the two main moments of positive endeavour for his side - netting his eighth goal of the season and later crashing a vicious rising shot off Jaaskelainen's crossbar. 

Strike partner Shola meanwhile has now played almost 120 minutes in two games since injuring himself at Arsenal and is patently not right. After finally regaining full fitness and starting to win fans over, it would be a crying shame if he now undid that good work by playing on with an injury - as he did under previous managers when struggling with a hip problem.

The frustration of Tim Krul at what he saw unfolding in front of him was shown during a break in play at 3-1 for treatment to Carroll, when the 'keeper raced to the halfway line to remonstrate with Danny Guthrie - presumably for drifting infield. Suffice it to say, long faces were the order of the day on the way home for the support. Hopefully the players did the wise thing and stopped in the house.

United now have a week to prepare for the visit of a Chelsea side who were beaten at Birmingham City and have lost three of their last four league games. Tiote will at least be available for that one, but both Coloccini and Williamson now join Barton in the naughty corner. 

Neither centre half had looked in good fettle in the latest two home games, with Williamson seemingly an obvious candidate to be taken out of the firing line and the prospect that duo of coping with messrs Davies and Elmander in this game leaving us uneasy - with good reason.

Presumably the manager had felt that neither Taylor nor Campbell were ready to return. Well, he doesn't have a choice now, unless Kadar or Perch get a look in. Meanwhile the displays of Smith, Lovenkrands and Guthrie here hardly lent credence to the theory that we have a squad of sufficient strength to see us through. Championship standard frankly, like Routledge.  

Three weeks after a 5-1 win commemorated by Demolition Derby crockery, it was Newcastle who were the mugs today after a repeat of that scoreline. Next Sunday however remains a golden chance to get back on track. Who knows which Newcastle United will turn up for that one?
 
* Shearer v Charlton @ SJP March 2004 (57 seconds)

Biffa