Hellfire, this is hard work - while some Toon-related football writers have no doubt set about their task with relish in recent days, for the self-appointed documenters among us it's a grim business.

Still, spurred on by a mixture of bewilderment and residual anger (not least on behalf of those exiles who have trekked up the Great North Road and back three times in eight days) we'll give it a spin....

Part three of dispatches from the Barrack Road front line continues in similar vein to the previous two missives (now more Vidal Sassoon than Siegfried - wor poets indeed.)

Plagiarising our most recent reports it has to recorded that again we looked completely clueless in this match, with only the faintest apparent grasp of what we were on the field for and complete amnesia when it came to the rudiments of goalscoring.

Long must the ground staff have toiled in recent days, to cut down the grass growing in areas of the Park so far untouched by a United boot this season. Places like the flanks, or the dead ball lines - both virgin territory we never showed any inclination to conquer, even with a trio of substitutes on the pitch.

Viana began the game to a chorus of "Hugo" but after a forgettable hour of proving he's not a winger by coming infield at every opportunity, it was just "go" when his number was up.

And if patience is running thin when it comes to our alleged Portuguese wonderboy, then it was instantly exhausted in the case of the returning Jenas. Presumably when Bobby Robson asked the young midfielder to fill the Gary Speed role, he envisaged a facsimile of the solid defensive contributions and occasional goalscoring of previous seasons, not the toiling of recent games. Guess which one we got.

If one can pick up nuances of body language from up in the stand alongside 50,000 other observers (and Wednesday's shootout was evidence one can - Serbians stand together, Geordies lounge on the pitch, Serbians win) then Jenas today didn't want to be there.

In stark contrast to the much-maligned but ever-willing Savage, Jenas seemed to have the world on his shoulders. Where before a forward run and loss of the ball would prompt a reply in the form of a tackle or a tracking run, in this game it merely brought about a big sigh, droop of the shoulders and plodding retrace of footsteps.

Mention of Speed brings us to his contribution to proceedings - namely sending the visitors on the way to three points rather than one. The penalty decision was unquestioned, the need for a tackle evident, the save and spill from Given unfortunate, the fact three Birmingham players were first to the rebound unforgivable.

But if Sir Bobby gets off on that one, then he struggles to justify two other judgements that shaped the afternoon's play.

The replacement of Solano was greeted by evident derision from all around the ground - the booing of this being the most vocal and animated the crowd became all day.

That he'd been a rare cause for some optimism in the game as at least a possible source of chances was a fact lost on the Manager. If nothing else though, he had at least managed to improve on the meagre dead ball offerings of Viana (and later Robert), managing to actually get the ball into the box rather than cannon it off the first defender. Professional, my arse.

As it was, he ambled off the field and any pretence of a right wing presence promptly disappeared, just as a new striker and an alleged left winger appeared from the bench. There's obviously some little-known new FA rule prohibiting the appearance of simultaneous wide men....

Bowyer was the Solano replacement and once again the square peg / round hole right-sided berth proved alien to him as he dropped inside at every possible opportunity and often found himself on the heels of a colleague in the congested middle of the park. Painful to watch, frankly.

But passing over Dyer, who once again proved he's got "a great engine" (so had the Turbinia and I don't see that being touted as a stand-in for Scholes) but singularly failed to hurt Birmingham with a decisive shot or pass, it's to the front line we must move.

The only man who has scored for us in the Premiership this season (and one of a select few to have a shot on target) once again toiled away up front and in defence, trying to work openings and gain free kicks. But against what at times was a posse of defenders, his was a thankless task.

From memory, his last effort on goal from open play was the successful one against Manchester United and what was a smiling face at the start of the game (with Savage prone after a stray elbow....from the ref) was replaced by the same furrowed brow we've seen before when things are going awry around him.

And as for Shola.....a total irrelevance to proceedings, unable to create a semblance of a chance for himself or anybody else. Despite the self-criticism over recent non-displays that appeared in the programme, it seems that he still believes his special skills are enough to justify not bothering with any other element of his game. Like trying to control the ball properly. Or moving into space. Or learning how to head a ball.

Defenders seemed to have sussed him out, standing off him while befuddles himself or wraps himself around them before glaring at the referee when the inevitable free kick is awarded against him. While one could write off the times Rennie penalised him last week as bias and the similar actions of the midweek Dutch official as incompetence, for a third successive official to penalise him is too much of a coincidence.