08.03.1986 D4 Rotherham (h) 2,838
11.03.1986 D4 Plymouth (h) 2,367
18.03.1986 D4 Bury (h) 2,205
      (Season average: 4,019)

31.01.1987 D4 Crewe (h) 3,759
07.02.1987 D4 Stockport (h) 3,238
17.02.1987 D4 Aldershot (h) 3,357
      (Season average: 5,754)

Wondered what their shirt logo was all about? A tangy, crispy snack ideal for dips? No, it's an acronym: DORITOS - Division One Rubbish In Tatty Orange Shirts....

After the Liverpool win, Alan Shearer was first out of the changing rooms and up in the Sky box while the others were probably still fishing for their expensive watches which they'd stuffed into their shoes, (behind their rolled-up socks, of course).

Apart from a few words about the Premiership win, he hammered home the point (possibly a bit too forcefully) that Newcastle United fans would rather win the FA Cup than the Premiership. Hmmmmm, I'm not too sure about that one, Alan. This reminds me of Bob Wilson (I think) saying on Football Focus twenty years ago how us Geordies would rather see a fantastic 2-2 draw than a boring 1-0 win. 

It all fits into the cosy, romantic notion the world has of us North Easterners, who are passionate but simple folk and are easily pleased. It's a bit patronising but be honest, we've all had a drink and a friendly handshake on the back of this notion, as the world and his wife think we all have a little Robson Green charm about us (I'm struggling for the female equivalent here - certainly NOT Jayne bloody Middlemiss).

Having said that, the Cup is special and if we were ever to win the damn thing then Cardiff or the new Wembley would be treated to celebrations the like of which hadn't been seen since 1951 (I'm assuming in 1952 & 1955 we had started to get a bit complacent). 

But if the Devil had appeared before kick-off (and Molineux is obviously one of our pointy-eared friend's residences) and offered us the choice of three points at West Ham or a place in the 4th Round, I know which one I would have taken and that's not because I'd get some pleasure in seeing the hypocritical Roeder sacked (although I would).

Going to Molineux was a step back in time for a few of us. We were there ten years ago - not Molineux but First (or Second) Division obscurity and frustration. Listening to callers to Radio WM saying, "If only we could perform like that in the league", "other league teams play at Wolves like it was their Cup Final", "our ground and fans deserve Premiership football" etc. etc. It could have been the Metro radio moan in back in 1981, just after we'd beaten Sheffield Wednesday in the FA Cup or given Manchester United a fright in the same competition almost a decade later.

Now, as much as I love Bobby and Alan to bits, they were saying what most of us wanted to hear and certainly what the cameras and scribes expected to hear in their post-match interviews. As controversial and unpalatable as he or his gesture may have been, Craig Bellamy got it spot-on by pointing at his Premiership badge as he left the pitch. And he, unlike most of his colleagues deserved the right to have his say by spilling his guts on the pitch and showing he cared, despite knowing that the FA Cup is not our priority.

We are light years away from where Wolves find themselves now. Even given a play-off miracle they will not be fourth in the Premiership or in the second phase of the Champions League in ten year's time. No way. 

However, none of this excuses the ineptitude of the black and white performance we had to endure. The white shorts & socks theory can't be blamed anymore - Feyenoord put paid to that. No, this was a rotten effort from THE WHOLE TEAM, although some did deserve to be singled out for their couldn't-care-less demeanours:

Given - made some decent stops to keep the score at 3-2 but less than commanding on crosses and could do with learning some Schmeichel teammate-bollocking techniques. Might have done more than just watch Ince's shot speed past him - he was almost limply waving at his defenders before the ball went in. And yet again were we the only ones to see him visibly wince when he kicked the ball out? He is carrying an injury and has been for at least six games. 

Griffin - usually difficult to criticise but didn't seem as up for it as he usually is. No crunching tackles that I can remember and didn't fancy hurling himself (bomb-hero style) at Ndah to prevent the third. Part of a rotten defence that was all at sea.

Bernard - worst I've seen him. Pulled out of tackles, disappeared upfield to no great effect and was skinned like the proverbial rabbit numerous times. Deserves to be further castigated for talking to Robert as if he's his mate.

Hughes - possible to excuse him for being a trier and a seemingly nice lad? Maybe but still culpable in that he was as guilty as any of the back four for not dealing with crosses, attacking the second ball or having any positional sense whatsoever.

O'Brien - similar to the above but only half as guilty due to the number of minutes played.

Jenas - shame that his deserved first Toon goal seemed to get lost in all of this mess. However, still recovering from his Old Trafford nightmare in my book and less of a physical force than we need at the moment. I do like the lad, though.

Solano - a disgrace. Probably no less inept than Robert but seems able to take criticism and respond positively and with some humility. In which case, Nobby you were rotten.

Acuna - praised to the heavens by Robert (and others) for his Liverpool performance. Nothing short of awful in this game. Passing was appalling and his "ability" to stop the opposition deserted him, especially when he was ambling about yards behind Ince for the first goal. Seems to look worse against poor opposition.

Robert - aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh! I've said my piece already but the most annoying thing is, he obviously genuinely thinks he's playing well and trying hard. You get the feeling that his arrogance would transcend any amount of face-slapping or relieving of cups of tea. I blame his parents. Doesn't seem to have any concept of what is right or wrong. Dribbling the ball into three opponents - WRONG. Losing possession in general - WRONG. Taking 40 yard pot-shots - WRONG. Letting a considerably weaker opponent knock you off the ball - WRONG. Standing admiring an opponent heading the ball - WRONG. Ambling across to take corners deep into injury time - WRONG. Whipping in crosses for non-existent 6'6" strikers - WRONG.

Bellamy - almost beyond reproach but not quite. Still way too gobby - not just with the ref or opponents but with his own team mates. A few times he stood shouting at the nearest animate object when his energies were better served running and chasing the ball. The world is not against you yet Craig, just Coventry and Kevin Muscat.

Shearer - can't let him get away without some words about his vocal abilities. On the pitch not a great captain in my book. Yes, he has the respect of everyone in the Beardsley-as-captain mould but his words of encouragement or chastisement seem few and far between. Some of our lot need more than just a "come on" and clap of the hands as we kick-off after conceding yet another goal. Seems to be saving his voice for the post-match interviews which may not be going down too well in his own dressing room. Perhaps an indication that his future may lie in punditry not management...?

Subs:

Dabizas - mixed bag as usual. Some horrendous blunders but some fantastic last ditch tackles that none of the others were prepared to make.

LuaLua - didn't just stand about like the colleagues he criticised afterwards. However, still showed absolutely no intelligence about his play with wayward passes and impossible dribbles spoiling the good stuff. But that's what you get from players when they are thrown on to save the day. He has a point in feeling he should start a game.

Ameobi - had a weak shot or two when a dramatic late equaliser seemed possible. Didn't really add to our attacking presence and got in the way of Shearer a couple of times.

Niall MacKenzie  - tried hard to give vocal encouragement but needs others around to initiate chants - never managed to start one yet. Got distracted for large parts of the game by a gibbering fool who wouldn't shut up (NB not Biffa.) Drunk, one assumes and hopes.

Right, that feels better. 

Let's hope this is a watershed in that we don't end up looking back on this game and seeing it as the point in the season when things started to go belly-up. Onwards to the Boleyn with stout hearts and clean slates - lessons must be learnt. 

PS: We don't normally preserve the front page bit we write before the report, but purely so we can look back and chuckle as the open top bus does a second lap of the city (one per trophy) here it is:

United's away day bottlers did it again.  After getting out of jail, we managed to wave the white flag of surrender to all but ensure another season without silverware on Tyneside.

The performance at Molineux was nothing short of a disgrace with players pulling out of tackles, some not even bothering to put a foot in at all and a defensive performance that was a complete embarrassment.

Once again we contrived to make workmanlike pros look like megastars while our arrogant and overpaid rabble took complacency to new found heights. 

The Wolves players wanted the victory so much more than our lot and fought tooth and nail for every ball and thoroughly deserved the victory. In fact, the scoreline almost flattered us, regardless of whether LuaLua's first touch crossed the line or not.

Craig Bellamy (or was it really the Journal) issued a recent "leave Robert alone" plea. Errr, sorry Craig, not after paying good money to sit and watch that.

If Alan Oliver had taken things further over recent incidents then submitting this tape as 'Exhibit A' would have left no case to answer. A more lazy, half-arsed, uninterested and cowardly performance is difficult to imagine. Were justice to be done then said journalist would have gone into the Newcastle dressing room and smacked him in the gob, saying, "I told you so". 

Doesn't know what it means to play for Newcastle? I'm more than happy to sit down and catalogue at least 20 incidents where this egotistical waster disgraced the black and white shirt. It's difficult to remember when a Newcastle player (ok, Silvio Maric excluded) has been less willing to take a kick for the cause.

Paired down the left with Olivier Bernard we become sitting ducks. By no stretch of the imagination is Bernard a left-back. He's not usually one to shirk responsibilities but, he too, pulled out of a number of 50-50 tackles and went AWOL from his allotted slot on numerous occasions.

Other midfielders were culpable in leaving our defence exposed but this excuse looks a little lame after examining the way our back four failed to function as a unit for large parts of the game. 

Wolves, a team struggling to make the top half of Division One, held at home by mighty Derby days previously and missing most of their first choice attackers, tore our defence apart at will.

Will we take advantage of the transfer window? We need more than a bit of double-glazing to plug some of the three-quarter inch gaps in our back four. But let's hope Bobby doesn't go looking to buy some ornate French Windows....

If there was a (Hi-ho) silver lining, it's that five decades of FA Cup failure seem to have made winning the damn thing so unlikely that for many of us the competition is a distraction from the real business of the Premiership. 

Not so Sir Bobby though, who in the post-match interviews gave a fair impression of a man reaching the end of his tether - i'm sure Claire Tomlinson stood back at one point and warned the camera crew "he's about to blow."

One can only imagine the dressing room carnage when he did erupt, with the captain similarly simmering. God knows what either of them can say to sort out a side who keep imploding - we keep raving on about the magic night in Rotterdam, but it's easy to forget that we almost ****ed that up as well through our own failings.   

We now face a trip to Upton Park next weekend, giving the players ample opportunity to prove to the fans and the manager that they are capable of going to an away ground and reproducing their home form.

Whether they'll do so remains to be seen. 

Having said that, the silent majority of the 3,500 Newcastle fans got what they deserved for their lack of support. Nowt. 

In fairness some of them appeared to have been rendered speechless by the farce that unfolded in front of them.....we may have regained our crown of The Entertainers in the eyes of the TV mob, but seemingly at the expense of our own supporters.

The worst thing though, the bloody worst thing is trying to defend our defence against slack-jawed pundits and opposing fans as they trot out those oh-so familiar lines. Then we go and do this. Again.