Uriah Rennie is a nasty man and doesn't like us. 

Had he not been in charge of this match, we'd now be joint third alongside Manchester United and Bolton would be in the drop zone. Oh aye, and a reindeer really did eat that carrot I left out, and Santy drank all the sherry (then drove off in his sleigh, dressed as a Newcastle footballer...)

While that referee is just a joke, the fact remains he didn't directly contribute to any of the goals we conceded. He didn't blindfold Dyer and called the free kick correctly. He didn't place our wall, shout boo! when Ameobi was climbing to head the ball. He didn't flick mud in Speed's eye.

No, we were eminently capable of imploding all on our own. 

On the basis that your correspondent and a few thousand others dragged themselves up in the middle of the night to get here without any public transport, and paid for a grandstand view of this mess, pausing en route only to post applications for a midweek trek to Spurs, then there's no attempt to make excuses for the players: 

Ameobi may have scored (until that panel meet), but reverted to type and showed no understanding with Shearer. There again, with the exception of Dyer for the first goal, nobody else did (by the way, can anyone explain why Robert refused to go into the final third of the field in the first half and why Dyer was often marking Solano? I certainly cannot...) 

Shearer scores when Shearer gets chances - apart from the penalty miss at home to Fulham and the one over the bar at Southampton, he's putting in what he gets given to him, or crashing in the free kicks. However, there's a continuing lack of decent service to him from either flank.

Shearer aside, set pieces are a joke again - international footballers taking corners and failing to beat the first man at the near post, who is never a Newcastle player. And after trying not to get at Robert in recent weeks, to continue to ignore his fitful contribution is to bury the truth.

I actually think he was trying in the second half here, but just not getting anywhere. He looked almost incapable of finding a man from more than six yards away, and his confidence must be low, despite not being barracked by the Newcastle fans. By barracking I mean crowds of people shouting abuse at him, not individuals sitting in public houses with their heads in their hands or muttering to themselves while stuck in traffic jams.

Problem is that there's nobody else, and he knows that. Unless Bobby overdoses on the blue smarties, in the absence of Bernard and Viana he's not going to put in Quinn, Elliott or Kendrick. No, Robert will continue down the left, living on a reputation earned last season and failing to do damage to flaky, second rate defences like the one Sam Allardyce fielded in this game.

If Robert does want a move, then any watching scouts will hardly be urging their paymasters to open chequebooks on the strength of performances like this. A pocketful of loose change would be more than enough....

That he remained on the field for the duration may have been due to some fervent hope on the part of the manager that he'd belatedly contribute something to proceedings as he did at Derby last season. Fat chance.

This could go on for pages and pages, round and round in circles without ever coming to anything resembling a firm conclusion. While the antics of Dabizas prompted the reverse at Blackburn when heads did go down at Manchester United when they did what they often do, how can one reconcile this scoreline? 

We're not Manchester United - we're not going to squeal on phone ins if we lose to a side below us. But if we have pretensions to do anything other than tread water with the likes of Everton, Spurs and the Smoggies then we just cannot hand out goals to sides like Bolton before we deign to start playing. You just cannot rely on being comeback kings every week.

After having seen almost every variation on what this team can do to it's fans, it's now the exception when the post-match misery lasts more than a few minutes...or pints. However this one sticks in the throat even a day after - still too annoyed to watch the goals on the telly, the papers stayed on the news stands today as well. How did we not get a point against this shower? Bolton might have talent up front, but defend like a side preparing for trips to Rotherham and Palace.

We missed a golden chance to make up ground in the race for the upper slots, on a day when nearly everyone else dropped points. True, results could have been far, far worse but we now heap more pressure upon ourselves to beat Spurs and Liverpool and of course  that game in hand against Bolton now looks slightly less of a gimme than it did before.

While we can trumpet with justifiable pride about our home record, with trips to Anfield, Old Trafford, Highbury and Stamford Bridge behind us does anyone now really have confidence in us taking points at those allegedly "easier" grounds? 

Before the obliging geordies came to Horwich, Bolton hadn't managed a home win in eight attempts. Mighty sides like Bury, West Brom and the mackems could keep out Big Sam's men, but not us.

We now take our travelling bandwagon on to West Ham, a side without a home victory in 11 league attempts since May. Much as i'd love to say we'll go down there and knock them halfway to the Thames Barrier, putting Roeder on the dole in the process, i'd be lying if I did.
 
One step forward, two steps backwards. Typical bloody Magpies.