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Chelsea	1 - 1	Newcastle United
Half time:	1 - 0
Score Sheet:
(8) Zenden		Acuna (77)
	Teams
de Goey Terry Le Saux Melchiot Desailly Lampard Petit Zenden Gronkjaer Zola Hasselbaink		Given Barton Elliott Hughes Dabizas Robert Acuna Bassedas Lee Ameobi Bellamy
Substitutes:
(26) Gallas for Terry  (65) Jokanovic for Zenden		LuaLua for Ameobi (71) O'Brien for Acuna (82) Griffin for Bassedas (84)
Subs not used:
Stanic Gudjohnsen Bosnich		Harper Quinn
Bookings:
Melchiot (40) Desailly (64)  Gallas (88)		Lee (25) Hughes (28) Robert (32) O'Brien (90)
Sendings off:
None		None
Referee: Andy D'Urso (Billericay).  Words simply cannot express the rottenness of this plonker. Will not be holidaying at Whitley Bay or any other of the North's holiday hotspots in the near future - he might just get away with moonlit bird watching at the Farne Islands, but any self-respecting puffin would do what he did to us here - crap on us from a great height.
Attendance: 40,124   A mention of the newly rebuilt Stamford Bridge, and the continuing failure of Ken Bates to inspire his loyal legions to actually turn up and watch his expensively-assembled side. The crowd was around 2,000 below capacity, with tickets on sale to anyone on Friday, a fact proved by the rumpus behind the goal when wor Clarence scored.  However the largest gaps in the ground were in the new stand, where most of one tier was barely occupied, and 14 of 17 executive boxes stood empty.  Surely the super blues haven't misjudged the corporate market? Messrs Mellor, Major, Bewes and Attenborough and their ilk must really be on their uppers....either that or Ken's cowboy builders didn't manage to install the chandeliers and chaise longues in time. PS - Late result from Stamford Bridge catering department: Battered sausage & chips, £4.50. Not Graham le Saux's, presumably...

8 mins:  Bolo Zenden cut in from the right and hit a shot that shouldn't have troubled Shay Given. Inexplicably though, the ball squirmed out of the keeper's grasp, through his legs and over the line before he could claw it back. 0-1

Half time: Chelsea 1 Newcastle 0

77 mins:  A free-kick 35 yards out was touched to Laurent Robert who hit a powerful shot at de Goey. The keeper only parried it to Clarence Acuna who side-footed home from about 12 yards. 1-1

Full time: Chelsea 1 Newcastle 1

Uncle Bobby eulogised about his new Frenchman:

"I think we have signed a gem. Robert has a fantastic left foot and he sent in some wonderful crosses. He's only played two games for us but now everybody has seen what he can do with his free-kicks.

"You can see his rich talent. He is lively and he goes past people. We like him very much and we feel as though he is going to be a big asset to us. The guy slipped when Robert challenged him and then he got a yellow card. It was a poor decision.

"Yet everybody worked so hard. To tell the truth I did not think we would go down to Chelsea and win but I also felt that if we battled and scrapped then we would have a chance.

"I am almost tempted to say we did it with a scratch team. But that would be disrespectful to the players we had out there at Stamford Bridge.

"It was a brave performance from everyone and it has perked everybody up for the Troyes game. Before the game I would have settled for a draw, especially without the players we were missing.

"We were never dominant, but we stuck at it and I have to say I thought Rob Lee was outstanding in midfield against some extremely strong opposition."

On Robbie Fowler:

"Fowler would be a good buy, but we have Shearer, Cort, Ameobi, Bellamy and LuaLua. We've spent wisely and I'm happy with what I've got."

On the Zenden goal:

"That was a one in a trillion chance as far as Shay's concerned because he's a great goalkeeper. He apologised afterwards, but he didn't need to. We didn't let it affect us and we just kept at it. As long as we kept it to one goal we always had a chance.

"It was the sort of goal that can deflate you - but Shay Given's been a marvellous goalkeeper for us, but we recovered and we were always in the game.

"There were certain spells in the match where they dominated - but all in all, with a weakened side and one that battled, I think we did deserve the point."

Warren Barton said:

"It was unfair for Shay, who was outstanding for us all last season. But full credit to the lads - we've had a lot of injuries so we're well pleased with the result.

"We competed well against a lot of talented, world class players. There won't be too many teams who come here and get a point off Chelsea. We showed great commitment and effort - it's a great result.

"Laurent looked sharp - we're well pleased with how he's coming on."

Shay Given spoke about his own personal calamity:

"Yes it's been a while since it has happened but I could have picked a better day for it.

"It was just one of those things but obviously it was still very disappointing both for me and the team. I apologised to them at half-time but there is such a great spirit here that they told me just to forget it. I knew I had to keep my head up and get on with it.

"I was not unsighted or anything like that and I saw it all the way. But I think the trouble was that I was already deciding what to do with the ball when I got it before I actually saved it. It came straight at me and it was a goal-keeping error. All I can make sure to do is to prevent it happening again."

"The fans were absolutely brilliant and it just goes to show that they are the best in the business. It was a bad goal-keeping error yet they showed that they are still 100 per cent behind me and to tell the truth it gave me a lift.

"And at the end I was just happy that the rest of the players dug in and got a result I thought we fully deserved and baled me out."

And the goalscorer Clarence Acuna hoyed in his two penn'orth:

"You have no idea how happy that goal has made me.

"We were all furious at what happened in the first half concerning the goalkeepers. In all the time I have been here I have never seen Shay Given let in a bad goal, but it happens to goalkeepers all over the world.

"Then not long afterwards Laurent Robert hit a great free-kick and their goalkeeper fumbled it. There were three of us waiting for him to make a mistake. But unlike us, Chelsea got away with it and it was annoying.

"I have enjoyed my goals for Newcastle but the one yesterday was particularly pleasing.

"Chelsea are a good team and we kept going at them. While we never gave up hope we all knew it was getting a bit late. There were three of us waiting again for the goalkeeper to fumble the ball and when he did, I did not mind which one of us scored.

"But I am happy it was me."

Claudio Ranieri said:

"I told de Goey not to worry. These things sometimes happen. I had to choose between the two goalkeepers and I went for Ed."

In his programme notes for the game, the Italian/English translation obviously masked the profound message he was trying to get across, resulting in such soundbites as:

"We must all be fantastic as soon as possible."

"I say to you wonderful fans and to the players: only now with the sacrifice will there be fruits." 

"If after, we have some more quality:good! But first we must fight for every ball! Together with all our hearts."

Goalscorer Zenden said:

"It bounced a lot before it got to him (Given). I was lucky the ball went in but I was happy with it."

On his first taste of Premiership football the former United target said:

"It's 90 minutes at 200mph."

Despite the fact that it felt like a victory the lack of three points was our 25th game in London without a success. Silver bleedin' jubilee indeed....

Robbie Elliott became the second Newcastle player to appear for the toon in a Premiership match in two separate spells with the club. Tommy Wright was the other (appearances in 1993/94 and a loan spell two seasons ago.) Craig Bellamy and Laurent Robert became the 92nd and 93rd players to appear for us in the Premiership.

We stretched our unbeaten record to 8 competitive games (last two Premiership games of last season, plus five intertoto cup matches) - Bobby's best run of results since he came.

Robson also doubled his points return from Newcastle matches in London - it's now a whole 2 points from 10 games. 

What a relief.

Lingering concerns about our weakened side being taken apart by the expensively fashioned Londoners weren't helped by heavy pre-match rain, reminiscent of other recent black days in our history.

Happily however, the sun shone brightly and so did United. It's a pleasure to report that our performance bore absolutely no resemblance to the last miserable foray within the kingdom of the M25, that defeat at Charlton last February. Coming out of the Valley that Sunday, I felt a mixture of embarrassment, rage and despondency at our spineless excuse for a performance.

Walking out of Stamford Bridge this time however the feeling was one of pure elation -, along with the obligatory watch for dischuffed locals seeking to engage their Northern brethren in unarmed combat (which had gone on both before and after the game apparently).   

However, this wouldn't be the club we hold dearest if there wasn't a hint of the Keystone Cops about the game. In our match preview we mentioned that while Poyet at least couldn't wreck our London day out until we played Spurs, we also commented that the law of Sod dictated Zenden would be involved somewhere along the line.

Sure enough, within seconds of being jeered by the toon fans (something like "one greedy basket" I think), he'd opened his account for the blues, as they say in proper papers. Our Irish goalkeeper admitted his error, but coming so early in the game it didn't prove the decisive act that it initially seemed.

While Chelsea threatened through Gronkjaer's efforts to thread balls in from the byline and Zenden's tidy work, elsewhere in the home ranks things weren't quite as smooth as the smug locals had predicted. Petit and Lampard in particular belied their fees by looking thoroughly ordinary, and partly due to their lack of quality in the midfield, for once we started to hold our own there.

Bassedas, Lee and Acuna more than compensated for the absent Speed with their constant efforts, and Barton had one of his "on" days, spraying balls across the park to Robert, who made Melchiot look uneasy every time he gained possession. As a measure of our recovery as the half wore on, the increasingly frustrated Hasselbaink was isolated from play, save for the odd ball lumped over the Newcastle defence. Hardly the style of championship contenders....

As an attacking force we weren't rapier-like, but the nuisance value of the buzzing Bellamy and valiant attempts by Shola to provide a physical presence up front caused Chelsea some problems, and the inroads made by Robert down the left promised much, as did his venomous free kicks.

Had our every positive move not been checked back by the antics of so-called referee Andy D'Urso, things might have been a little different. Seemingly invoking a local Kensington & Chelsea bylaw about allowing two footed tackles from players in blue shirts, this bloke is an absolute pillock. Robert Lee was yellow-carded for his first tackle of the game, an innocuous little tangle, while Graham Le Saux demonstrated his kung fu lunges in both halves without comment.

It went on and on, with this pathetic little man appearing to make decisions based on  the requests of the Chelsea players and the moans of the Stamford Bridge regulars. Hopefully the assessor in the stands took all this in and will report back to his masters. Not responding to appeals like a cricket umpire or invoking the spirit of Hughie Green and his clapometer in return for forty grand a year seems a reasonable demand to me....

So it was that with something approaching a siege mentality United were clapped from the field, and welcomed back on for the second half in a similar positive fashion. Put simply, the longer that Chelsea went without adding to their tally, the quieter their rabble and the more confident that we became. The substitution of Zenden seemed a curious decision, unless uncle Bobby had a memory lapse and thought the player was his to bring off the field....

Referee D'Urso also seemed to have calmed down and his second half decisions at least hinted at an unbiased viewpoint. If anything can be said in his favour, it's that he was let down by a pair of linesman who were incapable of seeing assaults within three yards of them, but demonstrated 20/20 vision to see round corners and through players to give alleged offsides from afar.

Finally the goal came, and was roundly celebrated by team and fans - the feeling that forces of righteousness had prevailed was obviously widely held. Acuna (or "an Andean mule" as the programme called him) charged towards the celebrating black and whites in a manner reminiscent of Mike Jeffrey at Man City a few years ago. Had the U2 boys been playing down the road at Earls Court seen it, Bono would have no doubt approved.

Meanwhile in other parts of the ground, incognito toon fans who couldn't stifle their cheers found themselves involved in nasty confrontations with miffed locals. Had Newcastle taken the extra 1,500 or so tickets that Chelsea offered, those people (and the ones who paid £50 and kept their gobs shut) could have been part of the party with their compatriots. Small-mindedness from St.James' once again meant that Newcastle fans were denied the chance to watch Newcastle United. Scandalous.

The last few minutes were bloody murder to be honest, with one or two of the United players so intoxicated by the occasion that they looked intent on trying to snatch a winner, and uncle Bobby opting for safety by bringing on two defenders. Chelsea tried to stir themselves with Zola once or twice threatening to work his magic, but United heroically fought from front to back to keep them out.

Four extra minutes were conjured up by Billericay Dickie in the middle and his grimacing assistant, which seemed to take an eternity to pass. Finally however, the whistle was sounded amid great cheers from the Newcastle followers and a sullen silence from the home fans. Music to the ears of all right-thinking people. 

Admittedly it wasn't a victory, but it felt like one. The hunt goes on to break that record (West Ham maybe?) but at the start of a big week for us with Europe & the forces of darkness to be tussled with, the team, manager and fans seem in good form. 

Some people have a squad system to rest their players, we just have to play the ones that can walk. The effort from every man in this match was admirable, and those returning big names simply have to produce the goods. Whether we'll ever be able to put out a side with a combination of Robert, Solano, Dyer, Shearer and Cort is uncertain, but I hope I'm there to see it....  

A heartening start to proceedings. The post-Wadsworth era starts here.

Quote of the day: shouted from the away section with 20 minutes gone:

"D'Urso! You were an amateur tw*t last year, now you're a professional tw*t." 

Biffa

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