Quick
Links
Fixtures
Reports
Players
Transfers
Rumours
NewsNow
Table
Stats
Reserves
Academy
The Rest
Archives
Club info
Fanzines
Last Season
SJP
Unlikely Lads
A-Z Index
Our contribution to ITV Teletext... first appeared on Weds 27.12.00
This being the season of ritual gluttony, rotten telly and non-existent public transport, NUFC.com thought it only proper that we inflicted our New Year hopes and wishes on you all.
1. Lifting of the Government embargo on genetic cloning of humans, specifically those who wear the number nine shirt.
2. The banning of panpipes.
3. The United directors to install a stairlift between the directors box and dugout to save poor Bobby's legs.
4. United to take the field to "Beg, Steal or Borrow" by The New Seekers.
5. Some more UEFA jiggery-pokery that opens up a back door into Europe with our name hastily scrawled on it.
More of the same at NUFC.com, plus our infamous end of year awards on the last day of the year.
Biffa