Not even Jeremy Paxman and his Enigma Machine could solve one of the great Mysteries of the Age:

Why are Newcastle so awful when they play in London ?

Our failure at West Ham was the 20th successive game we’ve failed to win in any match played within the M25 area. Not since a 2-1 success at Crystal Palace in November 1997 have travelling toon fans had the chance to celebrate anything other than Capital punishment.

Worse still, not only do we turn into gibbering wrecks in London, fixtures any further South than Coventry have also been the signal for untold misery. From non-league Stevenage to our tormentors-in-chief Southampton, we’ve turned up and simply rolled over.

Even in so-called friendly matches the curse has struck, with a draw at lowly Reading only being secured when our Dutch Manager of the time took to the field for some close-up coaching.

When alleged fan Tony Blair talks about the North/South Divide, we know what he really means....