24 mins: Krusty the Clown, sorry, Lionel Perez, was ably assisted by Gary Speed who in trying to clear the loose Perez clearance only managed to set up David Bingham, whose shot bounced into the empty net. 0-1.

Half time: Livi 1 Newcastle 0

49 mins: A left sided break by Thompson saw him outpace a static defence pushing up. The resultant cross was swung in to Allan McManus who finished with the minimum of fuss. 0-2

84 mins: Temuri Ketsbaia succeeded in getting into the box and forced over a low centre that Kieron Dyer tucked past goalkeeper Ian McCaldon from a couple of yards.1-0

Full time: Livi 2 Newcastle 1

Ruud Gullit said:
 
To follow

Ray Stewart:

To follow
 

Game four of United's warm-up programme took them from the Netherlands to Scotland - and a first defeat for Ruud Gullit's side. 

Although obviously eclipsed in terms of price tags and wage packets, the second tier hosts were thoroughly deserving of a victory gained by virtue of those old-fashioned values of honest hard work, endeavour and cohesive teamwork. 

Contrast this to the moneybags XI, who were thoroughly rotten in all departments. 

Again the unlucky James Coppinger was isolated up front, while the midfield were incapable of keeping the ball within the confines of the touchlines, never mind mount credible attacking moves. 

When Kieron Dyer did attempt to link up with the attack he found Temuri Ketsbaia stuck away on one wing and the forlorn figure of Silvio Maric on the other,while Coppinger was well marshalled.

Once 0-1 down, it became apparent that this was a Newcastle team displaying a complete absence of guile and with no confidence whatsoever in their buffoon of a goalkeeper. 

However a flicker of life was shown by Ketsbaia, who immediately from the restart got a shot in from the edge of the box that tested the keeper. 

More meaningless passes were exchanged before the Maric Miss - tonight timed at 29 minutes and nearer to me in the back row of the stand than the Livi net. 

The best chance of the first half for the visitors saw Warren Barton direct a strong cross onto the head of the waiting Coppinger and the keeper do well to fist it from under his bar. 

That said, the home side could easily have been three ahead by then.

Into the second half and before things had a chance to settle down, the home side doubled their lead. United's only response to this was a pitiful couple of shots from Dumas and Speed, and with Livi apparently well satisfied with 0-2 and using their multitude of subs it looked all over. 

Aside from the odd outbreak of clapping in the main stand, the derisive hoots that accompanied the arrival of the ball in the United area were the nearest the crowd came to producing an atmosphere. 

Perez made some gestures to the travelling support behind his goal and this led to a further bout of regrettable enquiries as to his sexual orientation.

Finally, a one man comeback of sorts was mounted by the Georgian and after seeing one good shot saved and an even better one swerve narrowly wide of the goal, he supplied a cross from the byline for Dyer to net his first toon goal. 

The youngster later admitted to being shattered by the pre-season training and our hectic match schedule and underwhelmed by the performances of his new colleagues - dangerously sincere stuff. 

No doubt a quick course in NUFC PR looms, after which and he'll be able to answer in word-perfect club doublespeak. Speaking of which, Rudi talked about answers to questions but didn't share with us what they were. Many of the travelling supporters could no doubt provide a few suggestions….

PS. Pity the poor Spanish journalist who was sent to cover this game and submit a piece on how Marcelino was settling in following his move. He will have earned his fee if he produces readable copy from the Spaniard's incident-free 45 minute contribution…

Biffa