Newcastle finished the game with Geremi on the field in place of Nicky Butt, who had limped off with a knee injury. Viduka meanwhile made a late appearance replacing Martins, of which more in a moment...

Rather than returning to our party piece of conceding late goals, today saw us return to an old failing: sleepwalking through the opening exchanges of a half. There's no crime in conceding a goal, but to then spend most of the next 50 minutes in attempting to get back on level terms in a manner as feckless as it was slipshod is verging on the unlawful.

Lacking guile was Chris Hughton's euphemism for his charges being incapable of getting in positions to pose problems for Bolton's defence or goalkeeper and alternating their wayward passes between defenders and midfielders. 

Our post-match headline was some suitably weak pun about being sunk by subs, but on reflection our original unpublished offering would have been more accurate.... a succession of hopeless punts.

So who takes the blame? Ask most of the travelling fans and the name Shola Ameobi would be the popular view, after another galling display of half-paced lolloping that troubled his own supporters far more than the opposition defence.

One could see Hughton's point when he spoke of taking Martins off due to tiredness, but Ameobi had provided little from the start and looked equally leggy - although Stattos can confirm both strikers were equal in their output; one on-target effort saved and one narrowly wide.

Oba departed though and with him went our last vestige of pace and unpredictability, replaced by Viduka, whose presence had been inexplicably craved by some away fans with short memories - the same player getting choruses of "not fit to wear the shirt" barely two months ago at Wigan.

The plainly uninterested Australian had deigned to come on after chatting to a punter in the home end - catching up on the Test score maybe? That came after scowling at the away end when they dared to applaud him. And the major talking point arising from his 12 minute cameo? his voluminous shorts. 

If we had an orange change kit, then Adidas could have stitched together two second-hand windsocks to accommodate his ample antipodean arse. As it was, the white baggies Viduka sported billowed in the breeze in a fashion not seen since the Onedin Line put to sea in a force eighter.

Had he come on and rescued a point though, Hughton would have been praised by his timely switch in much the same Megson was after deploying the goalscorer to liven up his side, with instant results. As it was though, his increased bench choices didn't seem to help him - life was a lot simpler a month ago when we were naming crowds of bairns...

Viduka selected; Andy Carroll sat down after his warm up, denying away fansthe chance of seeing him rearrange the bodily parts of McCann. And surely he would have given us more threat in the final few frantic exchanges than the number 36?

As much as Hughton and his failing players though, new boy Kevin Nolan bears a share of responsibility for missing out on an early Reebok return through the same sort madness that saw Danny Guthrie rendered unavailable earlier in the season. Unlike Guthrie though, he brought a shabby disciplinary record with him that's hardly helped. 

His absence left our midfield stretched, although Hughton avoided Kinnear's debatable solution of pushing Coloccini upfield. And that shortage was exacerbated when the failing body of Butt gave out again. Geremi sauntered on in his place, having limbered up in a manner suggesting a few overs of gently-paced seam bowling were in the offing, before an early lunch. Can we swap him for Harmison?

Alan Smith meanwhile was still stewing, having earlier ranted obscenities at the back of Hughtons' head from the bench when Geremi sauntered on. Now neither Carroll nor Smith are world-beaters and we've enquired about what the latter has to offer at length on these pages previously. However the body language of the duo preferred to them spoke volumes - although Bolton were so unadventurous that Geremi found some time and space in midfield.

Now here's a startling admission: Mike Ashley and Derek Llambias are right.

Wrong about many things - such as top six finishes and their choice of 'football brain' - but right in the sense that applying commercial logic to our squad leads them to conclude that many of the present crop simply don't provide value for money.

It's very difficult to argue with an assessment that Bassong is as competent as Coloccini at a fraction of the price; that Lovenkrands has done as much as Duff since he came in a freebie with cut-price terms - and can at least keep himself fit enough to play. And that Michael Owen signing a new deal would empty the bank and see us signing players from Berwick Rangers.... 

So divesting ourselves of Geremi and Viduka etc. improves the balance sheet without detriment to the side - after all, it's the big earners who have got us into this plight through their under-achievements on the field and frequent absences from it, be they Emre, Luque, Owen, or whoever. 

That theory starts to fall down though when proven performers walk out the door in return for fat cheques that are then blown on sub-standard replacements. Regardless of the fact Gutierrez has got nice hair and people sing songs about him, the fact remains we're getting less end product in terms of shots and service than we did from Milner. The casino men and their coaches are backing losers - wilfully in the case of the three year deal for Shola.

Back to the struggle though and after no goals and one point from our two "easier" fixtures, the feel -bad factor has now returned, ahead of what promises to be a painful series of games both home and away stretching into April.  

Both Hull and Arsenal will look forward to returning to winning ways against us. Getting anything at home would be an almighty bonus for team and fans alike, but where will it come from? Unsold tickets for the non-televised visit of Manchester United confirms that SJP isn't a ground for optimism.  

Victories for Blackburn and Boro squeezed the bottom half of the table even tighter and the post -match mood darkened considerably when news of Stoke's Lazarus-like recovery at Villa broke - not so much for the point gained, more for confirmation of their are fighting to the last breath for survival.

We just look breathless - and based on what we're seeing, others will rescue us from disaster - or save themselves through their own endeavours, leaving us festering in our own self-induced mess. 

If ever some inspiration was needed to prove a (Geordie) nation of doubters then it's now - even if it is Shola - but it's about time that something came from someone on the field - nobody else can influence our destiny now; not the owner, the MD, the coach, the manager - we'll fight those battles come May. 

So: confidence, competence and commitment in exchange for cash, crowds and cheers? Deal? 

Biffa