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Teams: 

DFB: (normal home kit - all blue)  
Subs:   

NUFC: (normal away kit) Karelse, McGuffie, Ullathorne, Kerr, Cowan, Caldwell G, Green, Bonvin, Ameobi, Coppinger, Dimas (Boyd 75 mins).
Sub n/u: Dixon.

34 seconds. Not for the first time this season, United's second side appeared to be startled by the referee's first whistle, and conceded a goal almost immediately. Scaife received the ball on the left flank for Fed (looking suspiciously offside) and pulled back a low centre to Forbes, who beat Karelse from 12 yards. 0-1.
16 mins. Further joy for Fed, as another move down the left found McGuffie slow to react to the danger, allowing Forbes to hit a second past the seemingly dozing Karelse. 0-2
27 mins Kerr tried a speculative shot from distance that the Fed keeper fumbled, but no attacker was close enough to challenge.
28 mins Newcastle had made one or two breaks down the left, ending up in Dimas shooting wildly in the direction of the tea hut rather than the Fed goal. However this time, Brian Kerr carried the ball forward through central midfield and played it to the advancing Coppinger on the left side of the area. His low shot nestled inside the far post. 1-2

Halftime Score: DFB 2 NUFC 1

50 mins The first real chance of the second period saw the visitors draw level, with Coppinger again on target. A mighty punt forward from Karelse bounced once and was seized upon by the onside and unmarked United youngster. He strode into the box, rounded the keeper and walked the ball home for the equaliser. 2-2
57 mins Dunston's turn to regain the lead again, as substitute Elliott found time and space on the left side of the United box to control a cross and power it into the net past a static backline. 2-3
63 mins After hitting the net at Workington two days previously, Stuart Green continued with his goal scoring resurgence as he deceived the goalkeeper with a 25 yard effort that may have benefited from a slight deflection en route to the back of the net. 3-3
67 mins. Despite having made a number of substitutions, The Fed appeared to be tiring and when Coppinger was allowed to smash his 15 yard shot against the post, Ameobi was on hand to slam in the rebound from close range. 4-3
82 mins. Almost a first goal in United colours for Ryan McGuffie, as his fiercely-driven shot from the right hand corner of the Fed box was acrobatically touched round the post by the home 'keeper.  
85 mins. The clinching goal arrived courtesy of an uncontested penalty awarded after Coppinger was tripped. McGuffie had chased and caught a stray pass near the corner flag on the United right, and his infield ball to Coppinger saw defender Shore stretch out a leg to halt his run on goal. Ameobi casually converted the spotkick with a low shot to the keeper's right. 5-3 

Final Score: DFB 3 NUFC 5

Waffle: 

Just when you think you've seen everything possible at a football ground (except Newcastle parading the FA Cup) along comes something you never, ever dreamed about.

Lounging amid the palatial splendour of the Dunston Fed cowshed, your correspondent espied a local wandering along the terrace complete with dog on lead. Nothing unusual there, until it was noticed that in the dog handler's other hand was another lead, straining on the end of which was.....a ferret.

A ferret, yesterday (possibly in an offside position.) Ball - model's own

The expected unfunny remarks were then exchanged - with several onlookers wondering whether this was Newcastle reserve physio Paul Ferret, or indeed whether the poor animal had meant to go and watch Durham at their New Ferrets Park ground.....

8 goals and exotic wildlife, all within the shadow of a Brewery. Those poor lemmings lodged bumper to bumper outside, en route to more Metrocentre misery didn't know what they were missing....... 

Biffa