Well the Marketing Manager at the Baseball Ground has got it sadly
wrong. If you come from Derby you've probably spent most of your
life trying to rid yourself of the tag, "Sheep Shagger".
The last thing you want is some ponce with a pathetic sheep head
prancing around the pitch before a match. I was only disappointed
that he'd left his fluffy leg attachments (see the programme)
back at the farm.
For some reason the Baseball Ground has eluded me over the decades
so I was determined not to miss this last visit to the old stadium.
Someone described it as a "mini Goodison" which wasn't
far off, although "crap Goodison" would have been more
accurate. It might have been designed by Archibald Leach, like
Everton's excellent stadium, but old Archie was either pissed
at the time or a Forest fan.
It became obvious at an early stage that the paddock to our left
was inhabited by Derby's finest. Witless, fat and mustachioed
are three words that best describe its contents, although ugly
and ignorant would make it into a top five. They spent the match
looking at us rather than the game - the way you'd expect a long
lost tribe to look curiously at civilised man.
Anyway, Ginola was warming up in his tracky bottoms which used
to mean a place on the subs' bench. However, that would usually
imply Terry Mac and Chris McMenemy in a starting 16 with no keeper.
This time it was correct. Ginola was sidelined and replaced by...?
Well, Tino was still globetrotting, Clarky was definitely sub
and the four usual midfielders; Gillespie, Lee, Beardsley and
Batty looked to be playing. One, two, three, four, five...eleven.
Eh? Maybe we'd been playing recently with 12 players. A few pints
of local ale and pre-match nerves were diminishing my powers of
reason so I gave up.
Early on we had the chances to really set the tone for the afternoon.
Beardsley's through ball put Shearer in the clear but Hoult did
well to smother Alan's first time shot. A high, looping ball suddenly
found Ferdy clear in the box and for a change his first touch
was excellent but the volley poor. Ten minutes gone and two cracking
chances wasted and I was beginning to anticipate the nauseous
feeling of three sides of a pokey ground erupting to rub it in
further.
Derby have a solid defence, strengthened temporarily by Paul McGrath
(his knees, liver and days must be numbered). Their keeper seems
tall, agile and able and the midfield is impressive with the two
Croatians adding power and style. Their attack is piss poor. Ward
and Sturridge look out of their depth and only the ex-Mackem ice
cream seller, Gabbiadini, looks anything like Premiership quality,
coming on as a late sub. Funny then that he's been farmed out
to Birmingham. However, Pav did have to make a couple of superb
stops - one from the rotund ex-Rokerite and a double stop from
Ward which should have seen us go behind.
Derby closed us down like no other team has ever done. As soon
as we had possession two players were beamed down to flank the
man on the ball. Jim Smith had drilled them superbly. The game
was reaching its last 15 minutes and looked certain to be our
first goalless draw for 18 months. The home support were gleefully
celebrating a share of the spoils although, personally, I was
more than happy with a point as we were threatening less and less.
Then, of all things, a Beresford free-kick managed to sneak through
a crowded area to find Shearer in a split second of space. A world
class piece of control and an out of this world cross-shot left
the keeper grasping at a piece of fresh air where a ball had just
been. A bulge in the side netting, a raised bent arm, a wheel
of delight from the England captain and 2,000 crazy Geordies going
mental told its own story. "We are top of the league,"
usually signals a late equaliser but despite three or four late
corners we held firmish and made it six out of six league wins.
I'm sure the home support (who looked superbly sickened by our
Magpie-like stealing of the points) would claim we were dead lucky.
A draw, on the balance of play, may have been fair but to say
we were lucky is missing the point. We paid 15 million quid for
the world's finest to turn hard fought goalless draws into three
valuable Premiership points. Where's the luck in that? If you're
foolish enough to give him half a yard then you've really engineered
your own downfall. I don't expect those loyal to the sheep will
agree but I do expect to be visiting their new pen next year.
What they need desperately is a decent mascot and a world class
finisher. Luckily we've got both.
Derby County (0) 0
Newcastle United(0) 1 Shearer (76)
Att: 18,092
Derby: Hoult, Rowett, C. Powell (Simpson 88), McGrath,
Laursen (Flynn 83), Stimac, Asanovic, D. Powell, Dailly, Ward,
Sturridge (Gabbiadini 70)
Subs not used: Carsley, Carbon
Toon: Srnicek, Watson, Beresford, Albert, Peacock, Batty,
Lee, Beardsley, Gillespie, Shearer, Ferdinand
Subs not used: Ginola, Clark, Elliott, Kitson, Hislop
Anyone with a semblance of footballing nous hates those poxy pantomime
mascots. They're an embarrassment to themselves, the clubs they
represent and anyone who hasn't appeared on Family Fortunes. They
are for people without a sense of shame. Imagine then, that your
club has unfortunately adopted the nickname of a woolly animal
that only the very desperate and depraved use for satisfying unfulfilled
lust. Would you draw attention to the fact? Or would you hope
that 'Rams' becomes the next Wolf in sheep's clothing on Gladiators
to give your club an air of respectability?
Niall MacKenzie