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Date: 22nd July 1999 19:30pm

Venue: Tannadice Park.

Price: A tenner doon the stair, twelve higher up in the "Fair Play Stand" (runs down one side of the pitch.)

Conditions: 1000% better than Livingston - A braw night.

Kit: Normal away. The home side played in their third kit, a predominantly black number to celebrate their 90th anniversary.

Crowd: 7987 (around 2500 sufferers.)

Teams:

DUFC: Combe, Worrell, Pascual, Jonsson, de Vos, Triallist, Davidson, Easton, Thompson, Dodds, Paterson.
Subs: Partridge for Triallist 45 mins, Ferraz for Thompson 61 mins, Smith for Davidson 66 minutes, Malpas for Pascual 67 mins, Mathie for Paterson 76 mins.
Subs n/u: Gallacher, McConalogue.

NUFC: Perez, Charvet, Dabizas, Domi, Goma, Kerr, McClen, Speed Ketsbaia, Maric, Serrant.
Subs: Hughes for Dabizas 25 mins, Barton for McClen 45 mins, Beharall for Serrant 69 mins, Robinson for Kerr 69 mins
Subs n/u: Given, Hamilton (!)

Referee: K.Stott (Scotland.)

Who? Alex Mathie - former Magpies striker, now languishing on the transfer list since his move from Ipswich Town. Linked with Reading and Man City last season but still stuck on Tayside. John Blackley - played for United in the dim and distant past and after stints as manager and coach at various Scottish outposts is now assistant manager to Paul Sturrock at Tannadice, although he may be on the move again if the miserable form the Tangerines showed last season continues..

Goals: 7 mins Jim Paterson made a run down the left flank before cutting the ball back to Easton, who fed Dodds courtesy of the willing boot of Dabizas. Dodd's initial header was blocked, but Perez was powerless to stop him knocking in the rebound 1-0. 21 mins Jim Paterson himself this time, gifted a free header by the antics of Dabizas, apparently break dancing as Thompson swung over a far post cross. Routine finish. 2-0. 62 mins. A Davidson corner drops right in front of goal on the head of Jonsson, who plants it in the net via the underside of the bar. 83 mins. Great individual strike from Robinson, who took advantage of the defenders hesitancy to unleash a 25 yard effort that nestled in the bottom corner of the net for the goal of the game.

Waffle: Another Scottish friendly, another 80 minutes of humiliation with an influx of effort when the game was almost gone. Rather than retread the well-worn path of the Livingston report, I've opted to pass judgement on the players individually:

Perez - words cannot express the contempt I feel for this man. Go and go now, anywhere.
Charvet - only acceptable to me as a right back, not a central defender by any strech of the imagination. Had a late scoring chance but struck woodwork.
Dabizas - legislation should be brought in to stop Greeks from playing for Newcastle for the good of my health - a complete joke.
Domi - Did little wrong but has to accept a share of blame for the ease with which Dundee scored three goals.
Goma - again, nothing poor but was exposed due to shortcomings of others.
Kerr - produced a couple of quality passes but with no focal point for the attack was urinating in the wind. Tired in second half but cleared a certain goal off the line.
McClen - not one his better nights, first touch continues to frustrate.
Speed - back to his worst, if Rob Lee cannot do better I'm Judy Garland.
Ketsbaia - this was one of those nights when the spark was missing. With almost the last kick of the game saw the ball run away from when presented with an empty net, summed things up.
Maric - I now feel sorry for him - no better than last year, devoid of confidence, looks like he wants his mam.
Serrant - one of the better performers, a measure of how poor we were….
Hughes - steady and unspectacular, earns plaudits for not being Greek.
Barton - A trier but by no stretch of the imagination a creative midfield powerhouse. Variable quality of passing.
Beharall - would surely have benefited from 90 minutes alongside Goma for the times in the season when International callups and another Howey setback will leave us short in defence.
Robinson - should have been on sooner, should have had support, scored a beauty. The one genuine bright spot, hope he stays fit and in contention for the first team.

Conclusion
To be completely hard-hearted about this, it was a meaningless friendly and a public arena in which to try things out. The fact that people pay good money to watch is a side issue, it's not obligatory to turn up and false dawns in our pre-season are legendary (Jon Dahl Tomasson in 1997 or a 7-0 win at Peterboro the season we went down spring to mind.) BUT: for a team of highly-paid footballers, some of whom are playing for their very futures as premiership professionals to swan about like extras on "Top of the Pops" is unacceptable. Even if it's a kickabout against the ballboys there should be an element of professional pride and a will to win. Dundee United are nowt flash but on this evidence should be carrying Scotland's hope in the Champions League.It's a great pity Stuart Pearce was at the Motherwell match rather than here - cages would no doubt have been well and truly rattled… Hopefully a hint of form will appear before the Celtic encounter, otherwise Mr Dalglish will have that smug grin clamped to his face.

Biffa

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